Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
