There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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