What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
