can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
