I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize