with your own penis?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
