Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Come share oat with me in your robe
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
