Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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