woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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