'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
then he tried to convert me to islam
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
