Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
