last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
