My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
