i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
