He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
