oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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