That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
