Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
