I got chris browned last night
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
