i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Do vagina's smell?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
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