Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize