So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
