I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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