My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
