My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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