discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Are we still banned from the library?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
