That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
