her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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