i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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