i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Mom said you looked used
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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