too bad you live with your parents still
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Randomize
