kristin has been a bad kristin
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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