he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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