Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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