Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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