Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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