brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
