the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
