remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
