You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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