I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
