i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
