problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize