fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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