Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Duck Duck Cougar?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
