I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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