thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think my fart just growled at me.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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