Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
