he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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