I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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