we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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