My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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