I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
