If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
