we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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