whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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