I'm going to rape someone's good day.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
don't judge my taste in strippers
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
