Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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