ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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