I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
