He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You are a booty call, not a friend.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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