There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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