I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
