My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
