Small penises have feelings too.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
