fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
